


Aftermath

by ImperfectOrphanage



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 13:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9442367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperfectOrphanage/pseuds/ImperfectOrphanage
Summary: "Did you know, Neku, that Entrance Fees are collected at the time you receive your Player Pin?"A quick, exploratory ficlet in which Joshua is an asshole, and Neku punches him in the face-a lot.





	

Neku put another X onto his calendar. It had been ten weeks since the Game ended.

Shibuya hadn’t changed. Nothing had changed.

Except, Neku had changed. His friends had changed and the people they had interacted with throughout the Game had changed. But Shibuya was the same.

He released a heavy sigh and set the ink pen back on top of his marker board. Homework called to him and he warmed up a pot of noodles to eat while reading through the latest chapter in English. Neku wasn’t the best at language. He tried, but it always came out twisted and slurred. Math and Science were his favorite, and History could fuck off with English for all Neku cared.

Joshua had spewed volumes of history at Neku that second week. Between missions-or the lack thereof-at meals, and just wandering around with his stupid phone beeping. Neku hadn’t seen much of Joshua either, except for in nightmares.

Every. Single. Night.

He dreamed of backlit purple eyes and an echoing giggle. There were pale, glowing hands around his neck and they wound around his body like two cords. Neku would struggle and gasp for breath and right after Joshua’s mouth opened to speak he would wake into a cold sweat.

A mouthful of noodles tumbled from the chopsticks to splash broth onto Neku’s school uniform shirt and tie. He cursed, set the food down, and started to undress. If he didn’t wash it now it’d stain, and he didn’t have the money to fork out for a new shirt and tie. Neku grumbled as he stuffed it into the small washer and sprinkled it with washing powder. He turned it on and watched it spin for a moment before going to find his pajamas.

Neku passed by the full length mirror on his closet door and swore he’d seen someone standing in the room beside him. He whipped his head around and saw nothing.

It was nerves. It must have been nerves because Neku had an oral exam in English and he knew he would fail it miserably.

He pulled a worn, grey sweatshirt on before sliding out of his pants. An old pair of flannel bottoms replaced the slacks and Neku grabbed his English book, a box of pocky, and a pillow to study in the bed with.

“Wow-“ Neku coughed, “H-how…awe…How are…”

_How are the rooms in this hotel? Are they clean?_

Neku looked up. He shook his head and returned to reading, attempting to sound out the words in his head before speaking.

“How…are…the…rooms,” he said, “in…”

_Neku? Are you feeling alright?_

Again, he looked up. His apartment was empty. The door was double locked and the windows were shut and latched. He set the book down and did a check regardless, but he was alone. The only thing making noise in the apartment aside from him was the appliances.

“I must be tired,” he said, trying to make the air less tense. It didn’t work.

Forgoing further study he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth before going back to bed to sleep. He set his alarm and curled around a large pillow.

_Neku? Neku, can you hear me? Are you feeling alright, partner? I need you to focus._

He squeezed his eyes shut.

_Neku, I thought you couldn’t afford to lose?_

He yanked his ear buds from the headboard of the bed and stuffed them in his ears.

_Neku…how could you?!_

He turned the music up. The sounds of the city mixed with deep base and horns filled his ears.

_NEKU!_

“Son of a bitch, what the fuck do you want?!” Neku sat up, ripped his ear buds out and snarled into the lamp lit room. “Why can’t you just…stop? I won the Game. If you want to see me, come see me.”

Silence met his ears. He flopped back down on the pillow and stared at the wall for what seemed to be hours before he finally closed his eyes to sleep. A breath of air tickled his neck.

_Neku. Remember. You lost._

Before he could argue his brain gave out and he dreamed of running in the darkness surrounded by walls upon walls of graffiti.

\---

The apartment was beginning to stifle Neku. He had found comfort at Hachiko. It was a beginning and an end, and it reminded him of the good parts of the Game. The friends he’d found and the hustle and bustle of the crowd both living and dead. Neku worked on homework or sketched random people to practice his art skills. Some days he would scribble ideas for graffiti, but most days he didn’t want to think about CAT.

He still loved Mr. H’s work, but he couldn’t forget the last thing he saw after Joshua shot him.

They were both there, staring at him with a smile.

Neku exhaled. He continued sketching one of the girls sitting near Hachiko talking on her phone. She looked annoyed but Neku couldn’t hear her conversation. After she left he flipped to another page to start drawing a boy who kept checking his watch and scanning the crowd. Neku smiled.

“Fancy seein’ you here, Phones.”

Looking up, Neku saw his once mentor and friend. He stood in front of Neku with two ice cream cones and an expression of apology. Neku didn’t want to talk to him but he’d learned a lot in the Game, and one of the main things he learned was to open up to people. Despite being lied to and used, Neku closed his sketchbook and slid his book bag from the seat next to him.

“Thanks,” Hanekoma said, sitting next to Neku. He offered a cone. “I gotcha a peace offerin’.”

“I don’t like ice cream.”

“That’s a damn shame but it’s frozen yogurt.”

Neku took the waffle cone and stared at the swirl of chocolate and vanilla. He held onto it but didn’t take a lick. “How can I trust you?”

The barista was calmly taking bites of his cone. “Pardon?”

“You lied to me. You were working with Joshua to do all of that shit and you lied to me. You’re supposed to be my mentor and you fucked with my head. How can I trust you?”

“I wouldn’t lie to ya,” he replied, “it’s frozen yogurt.”

Neku growled. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Kid, what we did was for the good of Shibuya.” He continued to lick. “It ain’t personal.”

There was a sharp pain in Neku’s chest as anger welled up in him. Slinging his book bag over one shoulder he smashed the cone onto Hanekoma’s shirt. “Fuck you.”

“That was uncalled for,” Hanekoma said, waving his hand over the stain. It cleaned away with a flick of the wrist.

“No, what’s uncalled for it that you and Josh think it’s okay to screw with people. I trusted you, so much, and you just…forget it. I don’t care.”

He turned to leave, but a hand on his wrist stopped him.

“Kid, I didn’t lie to ya. I might’ve left a few things out but-“

Neku whirled around. “You knew he was the fucking Composer and you two just pretended like he was a normal guy looking to change Shibuya. I wouldn’t have told anyone. I wouldn’t have done anything. You should have told me. You should have been fucking honest.”

Turning around, Neku took a few steps before hearing the crowd muffled voice of Hanekoma.

“You’ve been hearin’ him, ain’t you?”

Neku froze. The words and phrases that had been circling his head when he was alone echoed at the question. He shook his head and continued to walk away. It didn’t matter. Neku had better things to do than play games with Josh and Mr. H.

He didn’t want to return home but he had a pile of math homework. It wouldn’t take long, since Neku clicked with formulas and numbers. He pulled his book bag closer and noticed he’d forgotten something back at the statue.

His sketchbook was missing. Shit.

Neku hurried back to find it. Where it should have been was a note, and he crumpled it up as soon as he read it.

If you want it back, you know where to find me.

“Fuck!” He shouted to the sky. A few people gave him weird looks and he shrugged it off.

There was no way in hell he’d go to that bastard’s café. He could get a new sketchbook.

Wait. No. His homework had been tucked in the back of the pad since he’d been working on it before deciding to draw people. Neku wanted to punch someone.

Instead, he tucked his hands in his pockets and wandered the streets, waffling between wanting to go to the café and not wanting to put up with more shit.

\---

It was night again, and Neku was in bed reading a comic book Beat had lent him. He didn’t go to the café to get his sketchbook. Instead, he emailed his teachers and they were able to send a copy of homework for him to print out. He’d finished it an hour ago and now he was relaxing to the smooth sounds of light pop.

Neku hadn’t the energy to argue with Mr. H or Joshua in the off chance the prick had stopped by the café to annoy him.

The apartment was quiet aside from the thin walls letting him hear what the people on either side were doing. There was a family on one side with a five year old boy who loved trucks and trains. On the other side there was an elderly couple who often argued with each other over who cheated in a board game.

Neku bounced his foot to the music and flipped a page in the book. The story was incredibly cliché but the art style was unique. He would have to buy a copy for reference.

_You are such a child._

Again, he ignored the voice.

_Neku, I thought it was obvious._

Flipping another page he continued to pretend he didn’t hear anything.

_I’m going to jack Shibuya._

Neku set the book down and turned his music up before stuffing his head between two pillows.

_Your face is priceless._

“Just go away, Josh. I don’t want to talk to you. You’re a fucking coward and I don’t need to deal with your shit right now. Go fuck off with your friend.”

_Shibuya. She needs you, Neku._

He threw a pillow at the wall. It managed to knock a few things off his dresser and he cursed before going to clean it up.

A small trophy had fallen to the floor and he smiled as he remembered winning the art competition as an eight year old. It had given him the courage to keep trying. Neku set the trophy back on the dresser and straightened the bottles and random knick-knacks.

It happened suddenly.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a shape darting through the living room. He took several seconds to register that there shouldn’t have been someone in his apartment. Neku peered into the room before picking up a baseball bat to go and investigate.

A window in the living room was open and the curtains were fluttering wildly. He closed the window and latched it,  and with a once over of the entire apartment he found it empty.

_It was me. All of it. I’m Shibuya’s Composer._

Neku set the baseball bat against the wall and he returned to bed to try and sleep. He listened to his music and covered his face with a blanket. The voice was quiet, and Neku began to fall asleep.

A hand stroked the side of his face from under the blanket. He assumed it was his imagination in a pre-sleep state. The hand slid to his shoulder and down to his hip. Neku sighed. It felt nice.

Another hand began roving up Neku’s thighs and stomach. The two hands caressed and massaged him and he was soothed into a dream of being in a dark room with the sound of dripping. A pool of water stretched from the darkness and he could hear the clicking of footsteps in the distance. He stepped forward and the shadows engulfed him.

_Hello, Neku. I couldn’t come to your reunion. I’ve been busy repairing the damage Megumi wrought. You understand, don’t you? I knew you would. You were such a good partner and a wonderful proxy. But you know, you should have shot me._

Neku continued walking forward. His foot slipped into a puddle and he hissed at the cold water lapping at his ankle.

_You lost, Neku._

“No, I didn’t,” Neku said, arguing with the disembodied voice. “I won because I came back.”

_Did you, now?_

He stopped walking. The water flowed around his feet.

_I already collected your entry fee._

“What entry fee?”

_Silly, Neku. What is the most precious thing to you?_

_What was the most precious thing to you before the end?_

He flew awake. His head hurt. The room was bathed in darkness and the air was chilly to Neku’s sweat soaked skin. His music had stopped playing and he checked the battery on his player. It was drained.

“Shit,” he sighed. It was too much work to leave the bed to plug it up. He’d do it in the morning.

The mattress was uncomfortable and Neku couldn’t fall back to sleep. He tossed and turned and tried to ignore the nagging voice in the back of his mind. What was most precious to him?

What had been, before Joshua shot him in the face?

Neku couldn’t wrap his mind around it. He closed his eyes and curled tighter into the sheets.

At least the next day was Sunday. He didn’t need to worry about school.

_Your studies are important, Neku. You are an exemplary student._

“Fuck off, Joshua.”

The voice became silent but Neku was sure he could feel a pair of eyes watching him fondly.

\---

“Sanae, I have to tell you something.”

Hanekoma was busy mixing dough for pastries. He made a face at Joshua and kept stirring. “What?”

The Composer tilted his head into his hand and he pushed the tea he was drinking across the counter with one, long finger. “Your tea is cold.”

“Actually, Boss, that’s your tea, and it wouldn’t be cold if you’d drink it.”

“Whatever,” Joshua said with a sigh. He flipped through a magazine but his attention was anywhere but on the models in the book.

“What’s botherin’ ya?” Hanekoma set the bowl down and began kneading the dough with his rough hands onto the counter. He rolled it, smashed it together, and rolled it again. “C’mon, kiddo.”

“I miss Neku,” he said after a long pause.

“Huh. You actually got attached to someone? Must be serious,” he teased, grabbing a rolling pin to flatten the dough. “Y’know, Boss, you knew going in that you couldn’t be around ‘im.”

Joshua slapped the magazine shut and leaned on both hands. “To be honest, Sanae, I thought he would lose and I could keep him once I destroyed Shibuya. We could have ascended together. It would have been fun.”

“He would punch you in the face before ya got a chance.”

A small laugh. Joshua rolled the magazine up and snapped his wrist to make it disappear. He folded his arms on the bar and continued to sulk. “Perhaps I should go visit him.”

“No.” Hanekoma tapped the extra flour from the rolling pin and set it aside. “Yer not allowed ta.”

“When have I ever been considerate of the rules? I’m going,” he said, and slid from the barstool.

Pausing in the middle of cutting shapes from the dough, he frowned at Joshua. “Kid, I’m warnin’ ya.”

Joshua turned, placed one hand on his hip, and smirked playfully at the Producer. “That’s what makes it more fun.”

The bell jingled as Joshua left. Hanekoma shook his head and continued making cookies and pastries until the bell on the door rang again. He expected it to be Joshua, but it wasn’t.

It was Neku.

“Hey, Phones. What’s shakin’?”

“I want my sketchbook back, you son of a bitch.”

“Wow, rude,” he replied, dusting his hands off. “You just missed Josh.”

Neku narrowed his eyes. “At least I wasn’t shooting at him.”

“You just ain’t gettin’ over that, are you?”

The kid sat at the bar. He eyed the cup of tea. “He shot me twice. I don’t think that’s something a person comes back from easily. I mean, yeah, it worked out but so would ripping Joshua’s dick off and making him eat it raw.”

Hanekoma’s eyes went wide. He blinked several times. “That’s…graphic.”

“Whatever,” Neku said, and without a thought took a drink of the tea. “Ugh. This tea is cold.”

“Yeah, so was the person who’d been drinking it. Josh’ll be glad you did cause he’ll see it as an indirect kiss,” the barista said, turning away to put cookies on a tray. He could hear Neku gagging.

“Fuck me, this is worse than the hands,” Neku said, shoving the cup away until it teetered on the edge of the counter and fell to the floor with a clink and clatter.

Hanekoma wiped his hands on his apron and slid the cookies into the oven to bake. He took a wet towel and scrubbed the counter down before washing his hands in the sink. “Hands, huh?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just,” he exhaled, “having dreams.”

“Oh? People say dreams are the gateway of the soul. What’cha dreamin’ about?”

Neku curled his arms on the counter and put his head face down into them. His voice was muffled into his beige coat. “Joshua. He’s fucking with my head and he just won’t shut up. If I don’t listen to his prissy ass I see him in the apartment and then I just…feel touches when I’m going to sleep.”

“Huh,” Hanekoma folded his arms over his chest, “what’s he sayin’?”

“It’s just,” he lifted his head and slid his fingers into his hair to pull it back, “the same shit he said during the Game. It’s on repeat. Neku, I thought you couldn’t afford to lose? Neku, do you need a break? Neku, I thought it should be obvious?”

Hanekoma snorted and chortled at the terrible impression Neku gave Joshua, including fluid hand movements and a snotty grin. “Yeah, yer probably just havin’ stress dreams.”

“Yeah.” Neku pulled an elastic band from his coat pocket and put it in his mouth. He pulled his hair back into a messy ponytail at the back of his neck and wrapped the band around it. “So, where the hell is my sketchbook?”

“It’s in the back. I’ll go get it for ya,” he said, smiling at Neku. It wasn’t returned.

Neku stared at his hands. “Mr. H?”

“Yeah?” He had begun to enter the back room but Neku’s soft voice stopped him.

The kid looked up. He stared into Hanekoma’s eyes with a worried blue gaze. “What was my final entrance fee? Josh said he’d collected it, but it couldn’t have been my friends. I mean, if it was, I wouldn’t have gotten them back since I lost.”

Hanekoma turned to face Neku with a critical look. “Who said you lost?”

“Joshua. He said it last night…and a few nights ago.” He swallowed and put on his Joshua face. “Neku, remember, you lost.”

He wasn’t supposed to know. They had agreed to let Neku believe he’d won the Game since Shibuya was safe and didn’t change at all. The people changed, yes, but that was because of Neku’s influence, not Joshua’s or Megumi’s. Hanekoma held a finger up, went into the back room, and collected the sketchbook.

“Here ya go, kiddo,” he said, reentering the front. “Y’know, I thought-“

The bell on the door chimed and he looked up to see Neku had gone.

“Fuck,” he sighed.

Hanekoma would have to have a long talk with a certain Composer.

\---

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Neku closed his eyes and dipped his head under the water of his small bathtub. The room was steamed up and the mirror fogged, but he still felt as if any moment Joshua would show up in the reflection. He could hear the television from the other room playing the news and then some stupid game show. It was noise and it distracted Neku from his thoughts about the end.

What was his entrance fee?

_I’ve already collected your entry fee._

He dipped back down into the water, eyes closed, mouth open to form bubbles. Neku stayed submerged for longer than his breath let out and right before he came back up, he felt a hand on his chest.

_Neku, what are you doing?_

With a gasp, he resurfaced and the water sloshed over the rim of the tub. The bathroom was empty but there was a cold sensation on Neku’s skin. He shivered and dipped into the water up to his chin but the heat didn’t sink into his body. It was freezing cold, and he quickly climbed out of the tub to wipe down and get dressed in a pair of pink flannel pajamas.

_Don’t forget to eat, Neku. You’re far too slender._

He ignored the voice, but he couldn’t ignore the grumble in his stomach. The only thing he’d had to eat that day was a cold sip of tea. Neku didn’t particularly want to eat, but he had school the next day and he needed to at least nibble a few crackers.

Sliding his feet into his slippers, he shuffled to the kitchenette and dug around for something to put in his stomach. There were noodles but he’d had his fill of noodles for the week. He had a few cups of yogurt in the fridge, a box of green tea crackers in the cabinet, and a jar of organic peanut butter on the counter.

Well, it wasn’t a feast by any means.

He groaned, leaned into the cabinet to see if something would magically appear, and when nothing did, he pulled back and shut the door.

Neku squealed. He was certain someone had been standing next to him but now they were gone.

_Hee hee. Did I startle you, Neku?_

“God I hate you so much.”

_I’m flattered, but you don’t need to call me god._

He ignored the comment and grabbed a cup of yogurt from the fridge. The couch was more comfortable than his bed at the moment, so he plopped down on his back. He watched the idiot box as he spooned yogurt into his mouth. It was strawberry flavored.

_I like strawberries. Did you know, they only need soft ground to grow?_

“I don’t care, Josh.”

_Hm. I thought you might be curious at least._

Neku scrunched the empty cup of yogurt into a wad and tossed it at the trash across the room. It was late and he was tired, and soon he felt his eyes shutting. The noise of the television lulled him to sleep and he began to snore softly. It woke him a couple times but eventually the sound faded into silence.

_Have you figured it out, Neku, dear?_

“Yeah. You took my peace of mind. Now, fuck off. You and your friend both,” he shouted into the darkness and his voice bounced off the walls. “And I want my damn sketchbook back!”

_You don’t have to be rude._

“I don’t have to be rude?! You shot me twice!”

_Still on that I see. You’re a broken record, Neku. It wasn’t personal. You just happened to be standing there when I came around the corner. I could have chosen anyone. You aren’t as important as you think you are._

Neku’s blood boiled. He focused his mind, took control of the dream he was having, and punched into the air. His hand must have hit something, as it bounced back with a painful vibration. He cursed and shook his hand, and within seconds he was awake-drowsy, but awake.

Sitting up on the couch he rubbed at his sleep warmed face. He yawned and checked the time, and found it was only two in the morning. Neku cursed, moved to get up off the couch, and something fell from his legs to the floor.

It was his sketchbook. There was a note on top.

“Neku,” he read aloud, “there’s no need to get your panties in a twist.”

He dramatically rolled the paper in his hand, dropped it to the floor, stomped on it, and kicked it under the coffee table in front of his couch.

“I don’t wear panties!”

_Really? You should. They are quite comfortable._

“ARRRGH!”

Neku slammed the sketchbook onto his table, stormed over to the window, stuck his head out and screamed into the night, “leave me the fuck alone, Joshua Kiryu! If you want to drive me crazy get your ass in front of me so I can hit you!”

A few people in the neighboring apartments shouted back, some with curses, others with threats to hit Neku in the face, too.

He shut the window, locked it, and turned around.

“Son of a bitch!”

Joshua stood in front of him, head tilted curiously. A large, red welt was on the left side of his face and his eye was slightly swollen. “Actually, my mother was quite nice.”

“Why are you here?”

“I want to see if you’ll live up to your promise to,” he pulled a piece of paper from his shirt pocket, “rip my dick off and stuff it down my throat to eat it raw.”

Neku slammed his hands into Joshua as he passed. “Don’t tempt me.”

“My, Neku. You’ve gotten quite violent since the Game ended. Why the sudden change in attitude? Has someone else shot you? Or perhaps, you lost another friend?”

Anger built up in Neku to the point he was shaking uncontrollably. He whirled around, took two large steps toward Joshua, and he shoved him hard to the floor. Neku couldn’t stop. He knelt on top of Joshua and punched him in the face and chest while the boy squealed-somehow it sounded pleasurable-and attempted to fight back with his thin arms and hands.

Joshua finally rolled Neku underneath him. His face was red and cut, and his chest heaved.

“Go ahead,” Neku hissed, “hit me. I fucking dare you.”

“I don’t need to hit you,” Joshua said. He held Neku’s wrists down on either side of his face and remained on top of Neku until the bucking stopped. “Calm yourself, Neku. I mean no harm.”

“Get. Off.”

“I could get off of you, but I want you to listen to me first.”

Neku strained. He tried to bite Joshua’s arms but he couldn’t reach. His legs kicked but Joshua’s thighs were strong and tight around Neku’s hips. “I’ve been listening to you for days. What do you want?”

“How do you like Shibuya?” Joshua tilted his head again. A droplet of blood trickled down his nose and onto Neku’s shirt.

“Gross, get off,” Neku growled. He watched the drip, drip, drip, of Joshua’s nose. The sight made Neku slightly queasy but also a bit concerned. Joshua wasn’t sniffling or attempting to magic away his wounds. He just sat there, staring down at Neku with a cold, clinical gaze. “Hey, are you okay? Josh-“

“You haven’t figured it out yet, have you?”

Neku kept his eyes on Joshua’s. “What?”

“Perhaps shooting you in the face damaged your brain? Come on, Neku, snap to attention. Have you figured out what your final entrance fee was?”

The soft glow of Joshua’s eyes made Neku sleepy. He rolled his head on the hard ground and he tried once more to slide out from under Joshua’s hold. It was useless.

“Did you know, Neku, entrance fees are collected when you acquire your Player Pin? What was the most important thing to you at Udagawa, moments before I rounded the corner?”

Neku scrunched his eyes up in thought. “Wait, what?”

A teasing grin. Joshua removed one hand from Neku’s wrist to trail the back of his hand down Neku’s cheek and throat. “Neku, what did you value more than anything?”

“Myself? Kitaniji said as much and-“

“No, Neku. Before.”

Neku was completely confused. He tried to recall the last few seconds before Minamimoto and Joshua came screaming onto the scene. His hand hovering over the lines of the Udagawa CAT mural. His fingers just barely touching the wall. The music in his ears was dark and heavy, and yet he had a smile on his face for the love of CAT’s artwork. But that wasn’t the most important thing to him. No. It couldn’t be.

“Hanekoma? No, I saw him today.”

Joshua giggled. He pulled his hands away from Neku but continued to sit on his legs. “I couldn’t very well take the most important man next to me from the city.”

“I didn’t think about anything else.” Neku sat up on his elbows. “I was scared shitless. I saw you with a crazy look in your eyes and a man in leather having a shootout over my head. I don’t think I thought of anything else.”

“You had nothing to live for, did you?” Joshua placed his palms on Neku’s chest. He splayed his fingers over the flannel shirt. “Do you have something to live for now?”

Neku closed his eyes. “Please stop touching me.”

“Why? It feels good to you. Don’t deny it,” Joshua teased, “I’m in a very strategic position.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Neku ground out. “Just tell me what you want and leave.”

Joshua curled down. He placed his mouth to Neku’s and spoke, “do you have something to live for, Neku Sakuraba?”

Closing his eyes, Neku tilted his head away from Joshua’s mouth. “You’re being weird.”

“Please,” he said again, whispering into Neku’s ear, “I don’t want to die alone.”

Neku glared at Joshua. He took the boy by his shoulders and shoved him to the side. Neku hissed and rose to his feet, stomping away from the Composer. “Is nothing sacred to you?”

“No.”

“Of course not.” Neku wiped at the blood on his shirt but it had already dried. “If you’re so in tune to my thoughts, what did you think was my entrance fee, fucker?”

Joshua remained on the ground. He tilted his head again with an infuriatingly curious look. “I don’t have to think about it, Neku. I am the one who collected it. It’s interesting to me, however, that you cannot remember what I took from you.”

“Knowing you,” Neku said, rubbing a wet cloth over the stain on his shirt, “it’s a memory.”

“You have no idea.”

He shot Joshua a dirty look. “I’m not missing anything. At least, I don’t think I am.”

Another infuriating giggle and Joshua stood up. “I am going to enjoy playing with you, Neku. There was one other thing you thought, just before I shot you.”

Neku folded his arms over his chest and pouted like a child. If Joshua was going to be one…

“Why are you here?”

The words made Neku’s stomach twist. Before he could ask Joshua what the hell, the Composer left and in his wake was a cold emptiness. Neku moved to stand in the spot Joshua had been in and he felt a strange sort of warmth.

Did he know Joshua?

\---

Canned coffee had become an unfortunate part of Neku’s daily life. It wasn’t that he liked the taste of it, he just hated sleeping and with school and social activities he burned out quickly. Joshua and his disembodied voice hadn’t bothered him in two weeks. Maybe it was the terrible coffee or maybe the fact Neku punched a Composer in the face. He didn’t care, he was just happy to be alone.

Well, no, he wasn’t, but he’d rather be alone than with a prissy, self-absorbed asshole like Joshua.

Neku was unsure of how he got to Udagawa. He’d been texting with Beat in one hand and drinking coffee in the other. His book bag was slung over his shoulder and his sketchbook was tucked under his arm. The thought that he’d be an easy target for mugging crossed his mind but honestly, with as much coffee as Neku’d had, he felt he could take on a punk.

He tucked his phone in his coat pocket just as he neared the mural. Though he hadn’t planned to be there, it wouldn’t hurt to look at the iconic piece of art. Neku took a long swig of the coffee and tossed the can into a trash bin on his way up the stairs.

A clatter of cans and a ladder caught Neku’s attention, and he frowned when he saw a man in work overalls rolling black paint all over the mural.

“Hey!”

The man removed his hood, his mask, and a pair of goggles.

It was Mr. H.

“Yo, Phones! Fancy meetin’ you here.”

Neku was far too tired to be annoyed. He leaned against an opposite wall and frowned at the stark black background. “Yeah. Too bad Josh isn’t here. He’d paint the wall red.”

The barista made a face. “Y’really gotta let it go. Enjoy yourself, y’know?”

“Enjoy the moment,” Neku said, deadpan. “Even when you’re riddled with bullets.”

A laugh. “Aight, that was kinda funny. So, what’cha doin’ ‘ere so late?”

“It’s only eight o’clock.”

“Right.” Hanekoma returned to rolling paint over the wall. “I’m redoin’ the mural. It’s gonna be completely different. Fresh paint, new imprinting, and maybe a bit more mystery.”

Neku slumped down to the pavement and crossed his legs. He pulled his phone back out and replied to a text from Beat. “Yeah. Same old same old.”

“Nah,” Hanekoma said. He wiped his hands off and set the roller aside. “You might be right though. A little bit of red here…”

Looking up, Neku could see a sprinkling of music around the barista. It was blue and white, and it curled around his finger as he drew in the air. Neku’s first thought was that he should have been a little weirded out by it, but it wasn’t frightening or uncomfortable.

“Uh, not that I care,” Neku mumbled, “but why redo it?”

Hanekoma spread his arms wide. “It’s a new city.”

“Not really.” Neku clicked a few keys on his phone. “How’s Josh doin’?”

“He’s got a headache.”

“Did someone shoot him in the face? I’d like to shake their hand.”

Hanekoma snickered. He had black paint on his cheeks and nose. “Nah. He’s just nursing a bruised rib and two black eyes. He says someone was a might tiffed at ‘im but he felt special for it. The kid’s weird but his heart’s in the right place.”

“Does he keep it in a jar on a shelf?” Neku pocketed his phone. “’cause I think he needs to move it.”

“Yer just a bundle of amusement today, Phones.”

“I try so hard,” he teased. Okay, he was still mad but speaking with Hanekoma made the world a little less grim. “Sorry about the other day.”

Hanekoma had returned to painting. He’d only covered half the mural in long strokes of black. “You mean the ice cream?”

“And the whole,” he winced, “saying I was going to make Josh eat a dick thing.”

“Don’t apologize for that,” the barista said, “he deserves it. Hell, if you could find a way to do it, the bastard would probably enjoy it.”

Neku pulled his sketchbook into his lap and started to draw under the glow of a streetlight. “That would explain why he was practically squealing with joy when I punched him in the ribs.”

“He’s a masochist.”

“Actually,” Neku pulled a sharpener out to sharpen his pencil, “I think he’s more of a sadist.”

Hanekoma didn’t say anything. He continued to paint and Neku continued to draw. It didn’t occur to Neku at first, but not a single soul passed by. No one came up the stairs, and no one seemed to notice the man covering the mural in paint. He watched as a couple left one of the stores and just glided down and away from them. Neku didn’t need to ask. He saw a glow on the pavement as they left the store.

It was a sigil not unlike the ones for Players to enter stores.

“Oh, they can’t see you, can they?” Neku tapped his pencil on the side of his sketchbook. “That’s kinda clever. I mean, it explains a lot, actually.”

There was no response. Hanekoma was off in his own world, drawing lines and borders with colored pieces of chalk. He would step back, glance at a book, and continue every so often.

Neku felt peace. Sitting in the dark under golden yellow light with a person he could consider a friend if he’d just get over his irritation of being lied to. It made Neku drowsy, and he slapped his cheeks to stay awake. “Shit. I’d better get home.”

“Yer not sleepin’ are ya?”

“No, not really.” Neku pushed up to his feet and collected his things. “I hope it works out. Do you think it’ll be done by tomorrow?”

A critical glance was thrown his way. “I’m a great artist, Neku, but I ain’t God.”

Neku laughed. “Right. I’ll come by after school.”

“Sounds like a plan. Say, Neku,” the barista turned to face him, “are ya gonna forgive ‘im?”

“For what? The first time he shot me, the time he pretended to be dead, or the second time he shot me for kicks?”

Hanekoma paused. He started to speak but bit back his words. “You’ve got a point.”

“Yeah but,” Neku sighed, “I should forgive him. I mean, it’s not like the guy has social skills.”

“He’s got social skills, he just doesn’t use them.”

Neku grinned. He started to walk away. “See you tomorrow, Mr. H!”

“See ya, Neku!”

As soon as he stepped down the first stair, he felt the sigil take hold and everything behind him was suddenly the same as it had been days before. It was weird, but it made Neku appreciate the UG. There were some things that just needed to have a little magic.

His apartment wasn’t too far away. Usually he would catch a ride this late at night, but he felt like feeling the cool air of the city on his face. Neku wasn’t afraid of being hurt or anything. He had a pocket knife and a bit of training still left in him from fighting Noise. Sure, he didn’t have pins, but he had a mean right hook and a solid kick.

The Scramble was just as busy as always and Neku felt the flow of people as a tangible thing. He closed his eyes as he walked across the street with a gaggle of happy people. The city was bright, and it wasn’t because of the neon lights and Q-Floor.

“Oi! Neku!”

He paused. The sound of sneakers running up on him made him turn just in time to see Joshua trotting up to him from within the crowd.

“Wait, you’re running?” Neku poked him in the forehead. “Are you sick or something?”

Joshua huffed. He bent over with his hands on his knees. “I might be. Good Lord. I forgot how terrible being human is. Oh, I’m going to collapse.”

“Don’t be dramatic. Shit,” Neku snorted. He took Joshua by the arm and tugged him to the sidewalk to lean against a building. “Are you okay? Your face is…uh…”

“Yes, I know.” Joshua finally stood up. “Oh, fuck me.”

Neku shook his head. “You wish.”

“Actually-“

“Don’t say a damn thing.”

The Composer laughed brightly. “Yes, yes. I will be alright. You gave me quite the love tap.”

“That wasn’t a love tap,” Neku warned, but he didn’t mean it. “Why are you chasing me?”

“I wasn’t chasing you. I saw you in the crowd and I wanted to say hello.”

Neku took stock of Joshua. He still wore that stupid grey button up with the flared collar and the track pants with grey stripes up the sides. His face was swollen where Neku had punched him in the cheek, and his lips were cracked. The left eye was slightly darker than the right, but both were bruised.

“You look like Hell, Josh.”

He shrugged. “I won’t win any beauty contests.”

“Would you normally?”

Joshua pouted. He looked like a child. “Neku, there is no reason to be rude.”

“Sure there is,” Neku adjusted his book bag, “I’m exhausted because you’ve been bothering me.”

“I haven’t bothered you in two weeks. Oh,” he held a hand to his heart, “how long the days without you have felt.”

Neku narrowed his eyes. He turned away and began walking to his apartment once more. “You’re an insufferable prick, you know?”

“I know,” Joshua said. He wrapped his left arm around Neku’s right and even when Neku tried to pull away, Joshua wouldn’t let him. “You haven’t been eating.”

“I ate some noodles earlier.” Neku’s stomach growled. “Traitor.”

Joshua giggled. He placed his head on Neku’s shoulder. “I should treat you to the finest meal a Composer can buy.”

“No, thanks. I already ate two bullets.”

“Oh, Neku,” Joshua giggled again, “you’re quite fun to be around.”

“I get that a lot. Usually from you.”

Joshua smiled. His expression said ‘tee-hee’ but his eyes held a certain worry.

Neku didn’t want to know. Whatever was bothering Joshua must have been some fancy Composer problem or a Game, or maybe he needed to kill someone else. Who knew.

“So,” Joshua spoke, “I hear you are doing well in school.”

“I’m not going to ask how you know that, but yeah. I’ll be on the honor list at this rate. Though,” Neku stared at his worn shoes, “I don’t know if I want to go to college. It’s expensive…I don’t have the money and even with a scholarship…I guess I’ll try for an internship, but I might have to move-“

“I won’t allow it.”

Neku stopped walking, tugging Joshua to a halt. “Hey, it’s not up to you.”

“What if I said please?”

“What if I gave you another black eye?”

Joshua frowned. “Now you’re being difficult.”

“Ugh,” Neku slid his arm away from Joshua and continued down the street, “it’s not like I have a lot of options, Josh. You see, living people have to have this thing called money.”

“I know. You and I made a lot of yen in our week.”

Neku shook his head and grabbed Joshua by the wrist as they turned down an alleyway. “Look, it doesn’t matter. All of those pins just disappeared when I came back. So did the clothes, the food, and the medicines and shit.”

“But Neku,” Joshua said, placing a hand on his hip, “I am the one who could give it all back to you for a fee. Consider it a loan? Or perhaps, if you play your cards right, it could be a gift.”

“I’m sorry but Beat was the one who used cards. You just dropped cars on people.”

“Not people, Neku.”

“Noise are people, too.” Neku laughed at what he had said. “Well, you know what I mean.”

“Oh, dear,” Joshua teased, “are you going to start campaigning for Noise rights?”

Neku covered his mouth to hide the laughter. “Fuck no. Minamimoto probably would, though.”

“True. He was practically a Noise after the Taboo fiasco. Shame it didn’t work out with him.”

“He was trying to kill us. I don’t think that was a shame.”

Joshua shrugged. He held Neku back as he peered out from the alleyway to the street beyond. Once it was safe to cross he linked arms with Neku and continued through the crosswalk. “You know, it’s been quiet since you came back to life.”

He didn’t respond to Joshua. The boy’s arm was warm where it touched Neku and the smell of cologne was tickling Neku’s nose. Whatever scent it was, Neku couldn’t place, but it smelled high end.

“I was thinking we could be friends.”

Neku made a face. They had reached a row of small homes and apartment complexes. “Friends? You’re not exactly the kind of person to have friends. I mean, there’s the whole god of death thing.”

“I am not a god of death, Neku.”

“Could’a fooled me.”

“I am the physical embodiment of the music of Shibuya. Death is but one of my many skills.”

“Okay,” Neku said. He reached the end of the street and turned down an even darker path. His apartment was in the middle of several complexes on the wrong side of town. “What skills do you have?”

“Uh, Neku?”

His arm slipped away and Neku continued for a few more steps. He didn’t feel Joshua following him and it made the hair on his neck raise. Neku turned slowly and froze.

“Give me your stuff or I’ll kill your pretty boyfriend.”

Joshua had a look of defeat on his face. He remained still as the man in a black hoodie held him by the waist with a knife jabbed into his side.

“Shit. I ain’t got anything, alright? It’s books. I don’t have money and neither does this freeloader. He’s not my boyfriend and you’re a sorry sack of shit if you think I’m going to give you anything.”

The knife poked Joshua and he sucked in a breath.

“I swear to God I’ll cut him!”

Neku was tired. He was tired and he was mentally frustrated. He threw his bag at the man’s head with all the force he could and when the man instinctually reached up to catch it, Joshua elbowed him in the side before moving away.

“Any last words?” Joshua snarled, hand raised. “You picked a fight with the wrong people.”

“Hey, Josh, don’t,” Neku stepped between them, “don’t hurt him. He’s just a punk.”

The guy scrambled into the dark. He’d left his knife and Neku’s book bag.

Joshua growled. “You should have let me Erase him. How dare he try and hurt me.”

“He’s probably just hungry,” Neku explained. He shouldered his bag and kicked the knife to the side of the road, under a particularly scrubby bush.

“I honestly don’t care what he is,” Joshua said with his arms crossed over his chest. “He could have ruined my shirt.”

Neku groaned to the heavens. “God, why have you forsaken me?”

“Now, Neku, there is no need to get biblical on me.”

“And here is where I can see your brain making a joke about going missionary,” Neku said. He shot Joshua a playful look and continued walking until they reached his apartment. It was a run down stack of small apartments and Neku’s was in the middle of the fourth floor. There were six floors in total and a basement rec room where the children often got together on rainy days. The complex was run by an elderly couple who lived across the street and they owned several other properties.

“This is a hole,” Joshua whispered, sounding almost in awe.

“I have two words,” Neku took the metal stairs two by two, “fuck and you.”

“But, Neku,” Joshua said, voice low. “You live in a dump.”

Neku rubbed his face. He reached in his pocket for his keys and fumbled a bit in the dark until he was able to unlock the door and nudge it open. “You live in a sewer.”

“I don’t live in the sewer.”

“Okay,” Neku kicked his shoes off and set his bag down, “you…dead…in the sewer.”

Joshua snickered. He shut the door, locked both deadbolts, and toed his shoes off. “Actually I have a rather nice apartment. At least this place is better than the couch at Sanae’s.”

“You know, you don’t have to stay here.” Neku shrugged his coat off and hung it over a chair. He leaned into the fridge to see if there were leftovers or something simple to cook. “Do you like bean salad?”

Joshua was slung over the couch. “It’s no wonder you’re skinny.”

“It’s all I got unless you want…” Neku pulled a drawer open, “…well it’s all I got.”

“Don’t you ever do the shopping, Neku?”

“Not if I can help it. Food is expensive.”

Joshua sighed. He reached out for the television remote to begin flipping through the small amount of channels Neku had. “For such a bright soul you live in squalor.”

“If you’re going to insult me, go home.” Neku slumped down on the couch. “I can order a pizza.”

“Good for you,” Joshua said, attention on the television. “Oh, was that a question?”

“How have you lived as long as you have without being beat to shit?”

“Not long,” he giggled, and pointed at his eye.

Neku stretched his arms to the sky and folded them behind his head. “Whatever. Why did you follow me home for?”

“I was bored.”

He turned his head to look at Joshua’s disinterested face.

“Isn’t that why you entered the Game?”

“Mmhm,” Joshua idly replied, he settled on a news channel. “May I stay here for the night?”

“Uh, no.”

“Oh, Neku, be nice.”

“I have a bed and a couch and I’m not sleeping on this couch.”

Joshua pouted. “I can share a bed with you.”

“Fuck no.”

“Neku…”

They glared at each other. It reminded Neku of the day they decided what to do by playing a round of Tin Pin Slammer.

“I won’t touch you,” Joshua said, “much.”

Neku frowned. He gave up. “You’re gonna do what you want either way.”

“True,” Joshua teased and slid across the couch to put his arm around Neku. “Would you like to share a bowl of popcorn and watch a movie?”

“Josh, I’m not sure if you noticed, but I don’t have either of those things.”

“I mean in the future. Tonight I’ll sleep here, and tomorrow you can sleep at my place.”

Neku eyed him. “What gives?”

“Pardon?”

A spring sproinged under the couch. Neku licked his lips. “Why are you being nice?”

Joshua scooted closer. He was practically in Neku’s lap. “I want to be friends.”

“Friends?” Neku inched away. “From here it looks like you want to molest me.”

“Not tonight. Perhaps later.” Joshua gave a wicked grin and pinched Neku’s nose.

“Honesty I don’t know what to do with you,” Neku said. He pulled away and started for his bedroom to change into his sleeping clothes. There was a pair of pajamas he could lend Joshua. They were a little small for Neku, but he’d kept them around because he liked the fabric. He was going to give them to Shiki for sewing practice but he’d never gotten around to it.

Joshua came up behind him. “Oh, those are cute. I love Sheep Heavenly pajamas.”

“Keep them. I can’t wear them.”  Neku pulled a long sleeve shirt from the closet and a pair of shorts from the dresser below. “You can change in the bath-gah! What the fuck, Josh?!”

He stood naked in front of Neku as if nothing were wrong. The Composer’s body was brushed with fine, white hairs, and the only marks on him were the ones Neku gave him. He had two little wings on his back in silver lines, and when he turned, Neku couldn’t help but see he was definitely a male.

“Oh, sorry,” Joshua turned away, “I didn’t know you would be so shy.”

Neku’s mouth opened and closed. He shook his head, tried to forget the sight of a naked Joshua, and focused his attention on dressing for bed. Once he was ready to call it a night, he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Joshua didn’t join him, but Neku could hear him giggling in the bedroom.

As soon as he finished brushing his teeth, Neku went to see what the hell was so funny.

Joshua sat on the bed reading one of the comic books Beat had lent him.

“This is entertaining if not a bit cheesy. Do you like this series? Oh, no, this says it belongs to Daisukenojo Bito. I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Yeah, he uh, lent it to me for reference.”

Joshua set it aside and patted the bed. “What side do you want?”

“The one you aren’t on.”

“Ha! How cute,” Joshua giggled. He curled on the side closest to the door.

Neku had to climb over him to crawl into the bed. He could still hear the television but it didn’t bother him. It was often left on for noise at night.

“I haven’t had a sleepover in years,” Joshua whispered. He rolled over to face Neku. “Is this what it feels like to be alive?”

“No, I doubt it.” Neku reached up to click the lamp off. The room was bathed in darkness and a sliver of light from outside. He could hear a dog barking down the street and a few people shouting in the distance as a car rumbled by.

Joshua’s eyes were glowing in the half-light. “Neku?”

“Yeah?”

The boy-not the Composer-smiled at him. “Thank you for letting me stay here with you.”

Neku tentatively reached out to touch Joshua’s shoulder. “No problem. Get some rest, okay?”

“Yes, sir,” he said softly.

They stared into each other’s souls. Neku could see the humanity in Joshua and he was unsure what Joshua saw in him except for an easy target. Eventually, Joshua’s eyes began to close and Neku continued to watch him until sleep crawled into his mind.

He dreamed of a sandy beach and the sound of gently lapping waves. In the distance he heard Joshua call to him, and when he looked he could see the boy digging in the sand.

It felt less like a dream and more like a moment caught between two people’s souls.

Neku smiled and breathed in the salty air.

It was a slice of paradise, and Neku didn’t want to wake up.

\---

The first thing to assault Neku’s senses as he woke was the smell of frying eggs. He yawned and stretched, curled around his pillow, and figured it was just his sleep addled brain making things up. The sound of crackling and humming poked his ears and he slowly opened his eyes. His sheets were thicker than they had been the night before. His pillow was fluffy and the mattress didn’t strain under his weight.

Neku sat up, confused. It was definitely his room. The furniture was his and the carpet was the same dirty brown carpet it was the night before. But the curtains and the sheets were new. He crawled out of bed slowly, methodically, afraid to touch anything. The closet was half open and Neku could see clothes that weren’t his. He pushed the door open all the way and his mouth dropped open.

The clothes he’d collected during the Game were all there. He touched one shirt with the tip of his finger and flinched back when it swayed back and forth on the hanger.

What the Hell?

Neku rubbed his eyes. He was dreaming. Yeah. It was a dream.

He gave a passing glance at a few new pieces of furniture-mostly storage and organization items-and he left the bedroom for the kitchen. Whatever madness had taken place in his bedroom had affected the rest of the apartment as well. Neku drew his hand across a new couch and a matching floor lamp.

“Do you like it?” Joshua’s cheery voice carried over to Neku from the stove. “I took the liberty of sprucing the place up. It was the least I could do.”

“Uh, Josh,” Neku blinked, “why are you decorating my apartment?”

“Hm?” He scooped a plateful of scrambled eggs onto a brand new dish. “You deserve to be taken care of after you did such a good job as my proxy. Consider it a gift.”

“I can’t afford this!” Neku picked up a random knick-knack. “This shit is expensive.”

Joshua laughed. “It’s paid for, Neku. I told you, it’s a gift.”

“I can’t accept this. It’s too much.”

“I’m not taking it back. Now come and eat your eggs before they get cold.”

Neku frowned. The kitchen was clean and there were several bags on the counter and floor with dry goods and canned food. He could see the brand of canned coffee he liked and it made him feel weird. Had Joshua been watching him the entire time?

“I also picked up a few groceries. It isn’t as if I had anything better to do. And don’t worry about school for today,” he explained, putting a sprig of greens on the eggs with a bit of pepper, “I called in sick for you and the teachers will email you assignments.”

Neku didn’t know what to do or say. He numbly took the plate of eggs, forked a bit into his mouth, and hummed appreciatively. “Shit. Where’d you learn to cook like this?”

“I enjoy learning new things,” Joshua said. “Eat up.”

“Thanks, I guess.” Neku carried the plate to the couch and sat down. It was only then he noticed the new television. It wasn’t high end, but it was bigger than the one he’d had before. “Josh, why are you doing all of this?”

“Because I want to,” he said. “Why?”

“It’s just…weird…”

Joshua stared at him as he leaned on the island counter. “You haven’t had anyone to take care of you for quite some time. I only wish I could have done this for you pre-Game. You might not have turned into such a misanthropic youth.”

“You didn’t even know me before the Game, Josh.” Neku forked more eggs into his mouth. He hadn’t had a home cooked meal that wasn’t noodles in months. “Thanks, though, for the consideration.”

“Neku, you really don’t remember, do you?”

“Huh?” He paused in chewing. “What?”

Joshua had a soft expression on his face and his eyes were dark. “Never mind. It isn’t important. Did you know Sanae completed half of his mural last night. He worked from sun down to sun up. It’s rather remarkable but I don’t want you to see it just yet.”

“I don’t like people peering at my stuff before I’m done so that’s no big deal.” Neku set the empty plate down on a new coffee table with a glass inlay and flowers etched into the wood. “Thanks for everything. It’s…really nice of you.”

“See? I can be nice, too.” Joshua grinned. He began putting the groceries up. “Do you have any plans for the day or can I take you home with me for a sleepover?”

“I just woke up.”

“Yes, you did.”

Neku shrugged. He hugged his legs to his chest and curled his toes as he surveyed the room and all the new furniture and wall hangings. There was a painting on one side of the room he was sure hadn’t been store bought, and the details in the paint were startling. “Did you make that?”

The Composer looked up from a bag filled with boxed cereal. “Oh, that? I made it when I was freshly crowned. It’s not much.”

“It’s fucking beautiful,” Neku said. He hopped off the couch and walked over to touch it. “What did you paint on? Newspaper? Shit, it’s antique newspaper. There’s all these little lines and swirls…”

“Thank you. I still find it a little boring,” Joshua sighed. He finished up and came to stand next to Neku with his hands in his back pockets. “I have done much better since. Honestly, I have no idea what I was going for at the time.”

“It’s a tree.” Neku trailed his fingers over what he saw were broken branches and leaves. “But it’s exploding with light. You see these cracks here? It looks like the tree is in a storm and the branches are cracking under the wind.”

Joshua stared for a long time. His gaze was critical, but when he saw what Neku did his eyes went wide and his mouth contorted. “You’re completely right. How did I not notice my own art?”

“Sometimes it takes two pairs of eyes to appreciate something.”

“Neku?” Joshua turned to face him. “May I ask you something?”

“Shoot. Wait, no, don’t shoot.”

He giggled before growing serious. “Do you think we could be friends? If it weren’t for the Game and all I dragged you through. Do you think we could be friends?”

“Josh, I’m going to be honest.” Neku faced him fully. “You are my friend. I might think you’re a dick and I’m still angry at the shooting thing, but you’re not as bad as I thought you were in the beginning.”

The Composer smiled a genuine smile. It wasn’t playful or teasing, and it filled his eyes with light. “Thank you, Neku. It’s nice to have a friend.”

_“It’s nice to have a friend, Neku.”_

Neku flinched back. What was that?

“Are you alright?” Joshua reached out to put his hand on Neku’s forehead. “You look pale.”

_“What is humanity like, Neku? I fear I haven’t been human for quite some time.”_

Neku again, flinched away from Joshua. “Okay, I’m going nuts. I’m hearing you in my head.”

“Oh, dear,” Joshua said, not at all worried. “I suppose it’s my presence.”

_“I like being around you, Neku. It’s nice to have a friend who understands me.”_

“No, no, no,” Neku whispered. He walked away from Joshua, retreating into his bedroom to change clothes and clear his head.

Joshua followed only as far as the doorway. He watched Neku with a curious look.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I keep hearing your voice. But it’s not, ‘cause you’ve never said those things to me. It’s freaking me out,” Neku said, pulling a green turtleneck over his head.

Joshua frowned. He reached into his pocket to pull out a round, orange marble. “Perhaps it is my presence after all.”

“What is that?”

“A gift, given to me by a friend long lost.”

The marble rolled in Joshua’s palm and glittered in the light. Neku stepped forward to touch it and Joshua yanked it away fast enough to bang his arm into the wall.

“Sorry, I just-“

“You cannot touch it,” Joshua warned, “it’s not safe.”

“A marble isn’t safe?” Neku shook his head. “I’ll take your word for it. It’s probably some weird Noise thing or maybe an Entrance Fee. Wait. Is that what it is?”

Joshua replied with a simple, “Yes.”

“Maybe you should put it away, then.” Neku buckled his trousers and fluffed his shirt over them. He ran a comb through his messy hair and pulled it into a ponytail. “So, you want to show me where you live?”

“I would like to, yes.” Joshua placed the marble back in his pocket. He linked arms with Neku and smiled. “Do you want to go fast or slow?”

Neku frowned. “Yeah, no. I think we should walk.”

“Yes, it is a good day for a walk.”

Neku threaded his fingers with Joshua’s. They were inches apart. The morning sun caught Joshua’s wounded face and Neku found his lips moving in for a kiss. It was a frozen moment in time. He brushed his mouth over Joshua’s and the Composer closed his eyes to kiss softly back. Neku slid his free hand into Joshua’s hair and continued to kiss him.

Joshua did not pull away. He trailed the back of his hand down Neku’s face and kissed back as gently as possible without the use of his tongue. It was a pure kiss shared between two souls.

Leaning back, Neku took a breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I didn’t mind-“

Neku felt emboldened. He cupped Joshua’s face in his hands and kissed hard. It was a strange how he suddenly felt so alive and so in want for Joshua’s lips. His fingers twisted into Joshua’s hair and the Composer pushed back, holding Neku against the doorway.

“Josh, we shouldn’t-“

“Shh,” Joshua whispered. He put his hands on Neku’s hips and slid his tongue over Neku’s mouth. “Enjoy the moment, Neku.”

He did. Oh, how he did. Neku lost track of time as they kissed and touched. The boy in his hands was soft and smelled like spice.

A silent humming began between them and Neku was confused before Joshua pulled his phone from his shirt pocket. He pressed answer and held it to his ear. “Yes~?”

Neku shivered. He felt strange. He had kissed Joshua. Oh, oh, he had kissed Joshua.

“No, no. I’ll come by and we can discuss the new designs. Neku?” Joshua gave him a sensual glance and a playful wink. “He’s with me. Worry not, I’ll have him come, too.”

“Who is it?” Neku wiped the back of his hand over his mouth. “Mr. H?”

Joshua nodded. “See you then, Sanae.” He hung up the call and put the phone back in his pocket. “He wants us to come take a look at the new Player Pins.”

“I probably shouldn’t. I’m not a Player.”

“Your opinion is important to me, Neku.”

Neku cleared his throat. “Yeah, okay. Are we going to ignore what we just did?”

“We kissed.” Joshua fluffed his hair. “People kiss all the time, Neku. It means as much as you want it to mean and nothing more.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Neku traced Joshua’s chin with his finger.

“As I said,” Joshua nipped his finger, “whatever you want it to mean.”

Neku felt dizzy. He held Joshua’s hand and the two of them left the apartment for a long walk to Cat Street and the WildKat Café. The weather was beautiful and for Neku, there wasn’t anyone else he’d rather walk with on such a fine day.

\---

Hanekoma knew something was up the minute the two boys entered the café hand in hand. The angelic power he still had left saw the singing music surrounding them both, and it could tell Joshua was not only happy with the situation, but Neku was as well. It was slightly worrying to Hanekoma if only because he knew Joshua would be hurt in the end.

“So, what’ve you two been doin’?”

The first to speak was, of course, Joshua. He smiled, released Neku’s hand, and climbed up onto the barstool at the counter. “Where are these designs you wanted to show me?”

“Ah, I see how it is.” Hanekoma grinned. He spread a few papers in front of Joshua with the latest designs and the new imprinting mentioned in the corners. “I think we need an update. Somethin’ a bit less gothic, don’tcha think?”

Neku took the seat next to Joshua. His eyes scanned each page before lighting on one in particular. It was blue pin with a white pinion in the middle of it. “I like that one. It’s nice.”

“Oh?” Joshua pulled it toward him. He read the description, mouth moving silently. “I do find it quite pleasing to the eye, but the imprinting needs a little work. We don’t want to hand the Game over to them.”

“Right, right,” Hanekoma took the design and set it aside, “what about the others?”

Joshua turned to Neku. “What do you think?”

“I’m not the Composer, Josh.” Neku continued to look at them however. His gaze landed on a green pin with an abstract pattern. “I can’t read this language.”

“It’s angelic script, dear.” Joshua pulled the paper closer. “Imprinting 502, higher sync rate, less time between attacks, and an upgradeable buffer to store energy for special attacks.”

Hanekoma shrugged. “Probably not good either. Too powerful.”

“I like it.”

They both stared at Joshua.

“What? I think it would add a new level of fun to the Game. We would need to adjust the power curve of the Noise and allow the Harriers a bit more freedom to even things out. I think it would be nice.” Joshua moved the paper to sit on top of the one with the pin they’d chosen. “Now that is out of the way, what do you have that won’t kill me?”

Hanekoma grumbled. He should be used to the kid’s annoying behavior by now. “I’ve got crescent rolls and buttered buns. Did ya want a coffee, too?”

“No, thank you. I want tea with lemon. Make it stout, Sanae.”

Neku hadn’t said much. Every so often Hanekoma caught him staring at Joshua with a rather soft and curious expression. It was almost as if he was trying to figure out the enigma behind the boy.

Once Joshua had his tea, he took a sip, smiled, and said, “Oh, by the way, we were mugged.”

“What?!” Hanekoma paused in the middle of setting a bun out in front of the two boys. “What the hell do you mean you were mugged?”

“I thought it was quite obvious.” Joshua took another sip. “We weren’t hurt. Neku took care of the situation quite well.”

“Yeah,” Neku poked the bun with a finger, “I mean, he wasn’t that much of a threat but he did threaten to slice Joshua open. Stupid asshole was more worried about his shirt.”

Hanekoma frowned. Why was he cursed with such an insufferable brat? “Josh, did ya not mention ta Neku about yer community service?”

“Community service?” Neku tore a piece of the bun off, squished it together in his fingers, and popped it into his mouth. “No, he didn’t.”

Joshua elegantly waved a hand and continued to sip his tea. “Why should I? It wasn’t a problem.”

“Kid, yer an idiot.” Hanekoma yanked the tea away from Joshua despite the boy pouting. “Look, y’gotta be careful. Yer a human now, and that means y’can be killed.”

Neku was tearing pieces off of the bun to nibble. He halted mid-bite and turned his head at an odd angle toward Joshua. “You’re what?”

“Oh, human.” Joshua snagged the bun away from Neku. “As I said, it isn’t a problem. The High Council decided for my punishment I have to be fully human for the grand total of a year, to be served over five years, with at least six months served before the third year. It isn’t important.”

“That’s pretty fucking important, Josh,” Neku growled. “You could have been killed last night! What the fuck would happen to Shibuya then?”

“Do I look like I care?” Joshua shoved half of the bun into his mouth and chewed slowly as he stared at Neku with a uncaring expression. He swallowed, coughed, and leaned on his hand. “You two take things far too seriously.”

Neku looked as if he was about to throttle Joshua. His hands twitched. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“I concur,” Hanekoma said. He put a new cup of tea in front of Joshua and set a soda out on the bar for Neku. “Yer being a selfish prick, actually. Shibuya needs ya.”

“Shibuya,” he took the tea, sipped, and leaned back, “does not need me as much as it needs the people within her walls. I am merely a spectator who is open to suggestions. It isn’t as if I can affect change.”

Neku rubbed a hand down his face. “Anyway,” he said, appearing worn, “we’re having a sleepover at Joshua’s place tonight.”

“Really?” Hanekoma began wiping the counter down just to have something to do with his hands. “I’m guessin’ you had one at your place last night?”

“Of course,” Joshua said. He finished the tea, and set the cup upside down on the saucer. “It was interesting to see how Neku lives. He’s quite poor.”

“Yeah, and you’re an interior decorating nightmare. Mr. H, he replaced almost all of my furniture and stuck a bunch of clothes in my closet. I can’t find my favorite shirt, you son of a bitch.”

“I threw it away.”

A long pause.

Neku blinked once.

“What? It was full of holes.”

Neku blinked twice.

“I’m not returning it to you. You shouldn’t wear rags, Neku.”

Neku rose off the stool, grabbed Joshua by his shirt, and held him eye to eye.

“Give me back my shirt.”

Joshua was unphased. “No. You are a walking disaster.”

“I’m going to make you a walking disaster.”

“Boys, boys,” Hanekoma put his hand on either boy’s shoulder, “calm down, it’s just a shirt.”

Joshua shrugged. Neku frowned.

“If you give a mouse a cookie,” Neku said, “they ask for milk.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Joshua tilted his head.

Neku shook him once. “If you give a Composer an inch, he’ll fuck your shit up.”

“I don’t think that’s how it goes, Neku. You really are failing English aren’t you?”

It didn’t take long for Neku to shove Joshua into the floor. “At least I’m not a dropout.”

“Ouch,” Joshua said, faking hurt. He sat in the floor with a hand to his chest. “At least I’m not living on the other side of the tracks.”

Neku raised his hand.

“Stop, stop!” Hanekoma shoved Neku back to his seat. “Josh, stop being an asshole. It’s like you want to have the shit kicked out of you.”

Joshua giggled and twirled a lock of hair around his finger. “Maybe I do?”

“Yeah? I’m more than happy to deliver,” Neku said. “Then again, you’d probably just molest me some more, right?”

“Neku, you silly boy,” Joshua stood up, dusted his pants, and grinned devilishly, “you were the one who kissed me first. I can’t say I’m surprised, considering how much you love me.”

“I’d love to knock your block-“

A plink sounded on the tile floor and all three of them watched as the orange marble rolled from Joshua’s trouser pocket to land next to Neku’s foot.

Neku knelt down, Joshua shouted, and Hanekoma watched the chaos as Neku’s fingers closed around the marble and it faded into dust. The boy snapped up, rigid, and he stared at Joshua with newfound knowledge and sharp eyes.

“Oh, fuck me,” Neku said. He backed away, ignored Joshua’s plea to come back, and out the door he went into the flurry of Shibuya’s crowds.

Joshua did nothing. His hand hovered in the air before slowly dropping to his side.

“Lemme guess,” Hanekoma leaned on the counter, “that was his Entrance Fee?”

“Fuck,” Joshua hissed. He rubbed his temples. “I shouldn’t have been carrying it around.”

“Too late to change it. You’d better go an’ git ‘im.”

“It would be foolish to chase him.” Joshua sat back down at the counter and buried his head in his folded arms. “I cannot help him. He needs to process it on his own.”

Hanekoma stroked his hand through Joshua’s messy hair. “Hey, it’ll work out. I mean, maybe it’s for the best that he remembers.”

“Oh, yes,” Joshua said, sarcasm muffled into the formica countertop, “I am quite sure it will work out when Neku realizes I have been lying to him the entire time.”

“Well, as I said, y’can’t change it.”

Joshua looked up. “I could take it back.”

“Aaaand you’d be in the same predicament. Just let things happen, aight?”

A gentle light covered Joshua and he faded from the café. Hanekoma was certain he wasn’t going after Neku but was most likely hiding out in the Pad. He couldn’t blame the kid. For months he’d been hiding the Entrance Fee he held most precious away from Neku.

Hanekoma felt worse for Neku. It had to suck to realize the guy he’d had such frustration with was actually a long time friend. Not to mention, now that Neku had his sight back, the world would be a much more frightening place.

\---

There were Noise fucking everywhere.

Wait.

There were fucking Noise everywhere.

No, that’s just as bad.

Shaking his head, Neku ran through the crowds and past the Noise and Reapers he could see. Fear and panic coursed through him with a rush of adrenaline and he felt nauseas enough to dart down an alleyway to vomit. His head hurt, and his chest squeezed as he tried to breathe.

_“Can we be friends, Neku?”_

He covered his ears despite knowing it wouldn’t do any good.

_“Sure. I mean, wow, I didn’t think I’d find someone like me.”_

Neku dry heaved. He hung his head and curled around his stomach. “Fuck. Shit. Damn stupid son of a bitch what the hell.”

Okay. He’d said almost every curse in the book and he didn’t feel any better about being deceived.

Even after forgiving the two for what they’d done in the Game, they still lied to him. Hanekoma knew, Joshua knew, and for the love of fuck, Neku was sure there’d been others. He was like Joshua. He was exactly like Joshua with the sight and the ability to fiddle with music. Neku felt another roll of sickness and he sucked in a breath.

Memories filled his mind. He’d met the guy at the Udagawa mural. They struck up a conversation and the secrets tumbled out between them. They were incredibly similar, and Joshua was far too happy to find someone suffering the same curse he did. Joshua had taken him to Hanekoma. They’d talked about the Game and the ability to see the Noise and Reapers.

Neku felt betrayed several times over. He scrunched his eyes shut against the tears and he pounded his fist on the brick wall beside him. The adrenaline was beginning to fade and his legs shook.

He couldn’t stand. He could barely breathe.

“Josh, why? What the hell?!”

Neku punched the ground. His knuckles scraped the pavement and began to bleed. He didn’t care.

_“I have a secret, Neku. I am the Composer of Shibuya.”_

Things had begun to make sense. Joshua had said his name twice at their meeting near Hachiko at the beginning of the second week. Of course he knew Neku. Of course he wouldn’t have been honest.

Of course Joshua kept the single most important thing away from Neku.

“Why,” Neku hissed. He leaned against the wall and slung one arm over his folded knee. “Why do you have to be such an asshole?”

_“Neku, you’re important to me. Do you think we could be friends?”_

A sob escaped from Neku’s lips and he brought his legs to his chest to bury his face against them.

\---

Time passed as it always did. Neku had returned to school as if nothing had happened and he poured over his studies, begging for extra credit just to keep his mind busy. He put away all artistic endeavors and he barely ate. It wasn’t until he couldn’t pull his belt tighter that he noticed how much weight he had lost.

Neku didn’t have the money to buy new clothes. He put on whatever he could and pinned it in the back before covering the bunch of fabric with a long sweater. It was Tuesday, and it should have been a school day, but one of the teachers had sadly passed in their sleep and the school was allowed a day off to visit the family. Neku didn’t know the teacher or the family, but he went by anyway to give his respects,

It was on the other side of town, which left Neku unsure of what to do with the rest of his day as walking back would take too long, and the bus he needed to take wouldn’t run for a few hours.

The cute little houses and apartment complexes were in rows and stacks. They were painted in detail and the roofs were in perfect repair. In front of the buildings were cute little gardens and fences, and a few yards had children playing in them. Neku sighed.

If only he was able to afford such a nice place.

He continued walking, hands in his pockets, with the cloud of memories floating over him. The Game didn’t reach this side of town, and for that, Neku was grateful. He’d seen far too many Players get Erased, and he was slightly upset that Hanekoma and Joshua had chose the pin Neku liked. It was a slap in the face and Neku closed his eyes when he saw it.

Why did he have to suffer such a pain in the ass?

Looking up, he saw the glint of sunlight reflecting off of glass from the tall buildings. There was something off about the shimmer, though, as a piece broke from one of the windows and glided down to land in front of him.

It was a silver feather. Neku knelt to pick it up.

He spun it in his fingers and watched the light sparkle on the edges.

It was obviously a message from Joshua. Even without the words etched into the silver, it was apparent considering Joshua often used silver pinions as bookmarks and placeholders.

“Neku,” he read, “please come to the Shibuya River. We need to talk.”

He wanted to crush the feather. His finger stroked the metal and he flinched as it turned into a burst of glittering light. Neku exhaled. Fine. If Joshua wanted to talk, he’d talk. But it wouldn’t be the only thing Neku would do to him. He pulled his phone from his pocket and typed a long text message to Joshua about how he was on the other side of town and didn’t have the means to make it today. As soon as he sent the message he heard a beep, and before a reply could be sent, the air shifted behind him.

“Do you need a ride?”

Neku turned to glare at Joshua. “No. And I don’t really want to talk. Say your peace and leave me alone since you’re so good at that.”

“Neku, don’t be difficult. You owe me a sleepover.”

“I owe you another punch to the face and maybe a kick to the genitals.” Neku turned away and started down the sidewalk. He ignored the steps behind him.

“Fine, if you want to be rude,” Joshua followed close behind, “I will be brief. I miss you.”

Neku screeched to a halt. He whirled on the balls of his feet to face Joshua. “You miss me? Well, get used to it, pretty boy. I’m not your friend and I refuse to be your escape from boredom. I don’t like you. I don’t want to be around you. I hate you so much it hurts my stomach. So go the fuck away. I don’t feel like playing games with you.”

The Composer blinked slowly. “Neku, hear me out.”

“I don’t want to listen to-“

Joshua twirled his wrist in the air. The motion froze Neku’s throat and he stood pinned to the spot. “You are such a pain in the ass. Look, Neku, it isn’t easy for me to admit I have feelings. I do care for you and it wasn’t my fault. You choose the most important thing in your life. Now, I am going to say it once more in the hope it pierces your thick skull. I care for you. You are my friend and I want to be with you.”

Gaining the use of his throat, Neku spat, “I don’t care.”

“Yes, you do,” Joshua said. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have been open to discussion.”

Neku dropped his gaze to the ground. “Fuck you, Josh.”

“I would rather kiss you.” Joshua closed the distance between them. He brushed his mouth over Neku’s before stealing a kiss.

The power holding Neku in place relaxed, and Neku melted into the kiss for two seconds. He backed away, put his hand on Joshua’s chest, and shoved. “Get off of me.”

“Neku?” Joshua was suddenly concerned. “How much weight have you lost?”

He looked down. His pants were beginning to sag, and without much warning they fell to his ankles. Neku cursed and yanked them back up. “It’s not your business.”

“Please take care of yourself. If you don’t, I will.”

“Is that a warning?” Neku pulled his belt tight and slipped it around in a loop. “Are you going to force feed me if I stop eating and die?”

“Oh, Neku, don’t be dramatic. If you die, I can keep you.”

Neku glared. He could see Joshua’s expression was teasing but deep in his half-lidded eyes was a sadness and a pain Neku could feel. It hurt Joshua for Neku to abandon him, just as much as it hurt Neku to be lied to and ignored.

“Josh,” he whispered, “why do you have to be an asshole? Why can’t you be honest for once?”

“I am being honest,” Joshua said, eyes flinching to the left. “I’m worried for you.”

Neku wanted to slap him silly. He reached out, fingers trembling, and touched Joshua’s face. “Joshua, do you think we could be friends?”

Lavender eyes widened. “Yes. Do you want to be friends?”

“I don’t know. You’re an insufferable jerk, a bastard, and a son of a bitch. I don’t like you half of the time and I want to punch you in the dick. But…I was like you for a long time. If the Game taught me anything it was to let people in. I don’t like you much. But I think we could be friends.”

Joshua leaned into Neku’s palm. “I would like it very much.”

“Before you agree, I’m warning you. Lie to me again,” Neku yanked on Joshua’s ear, “and I’m going to pummel the shit out of you.”

“Fair enough,” Joshua smiled, “if I break your trust again, I will gladly take any punishment.”

Neku exhaled. He removed his hand from Joshua’s face and let it drop. “So now what?”

“Hm,” Joshua tapped a finger to his chin, “I am going to treat you to a four course meal at one of the finest restaurants. After, I am taking you home with me and we will have a long overdue sleepover. Perhaps I could tempt you into a round of naked chess.”

“Naked chess?” Neku shook his head and laughed. “Shit, you just don’t change, do you?”

He feigned innocence. “Would you take me any other way?”

“Fuck no,” Neku said. He wrapped an arm around Joshua and started back down the sidewalk. “So, community service, huh?”

“Shut up and walk, dear.”


End file.
